Oh, the familiar feeling of emptiness and inadequacy. Why does it surface more and more these days? I used to revel in my solitude. I lived alone for nine years, and I enjoyed the peace and quiet that came with it. It allowed me to reflect on myself, and I grew fond of it. Company used to weigh on me, and I looked forward to being alone. But now...now I don't know what's happened. Though I still find the prolonged company of people exhausting, the solitude I used to cherish has transformed into loneliness. It makes me feel empty and anxious. It's ironic how emptiness can occupy so much space and how "nothing" can be so heavy. Although I'm still not fond of company, I dread isolation as well. It's a double-edged sword, and it seems like no matter what I do, I lose in the end. The only difference between solitude and loneliness is your level of contentment with it, and that keeps on changing. I suppose I'll go for a late-night drive and hope it clears my mind a bit.
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